I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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