we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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