So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Shame - the story of my life.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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