There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
