too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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