...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
