it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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