Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
