So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
P.S. I can't hear my feet
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
