We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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