My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
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