Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
