I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
