PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
