Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
