id be glad to
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
