the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
