Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
