i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
