apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize