Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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