I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
