so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I will pee on everything he values.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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