Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
