I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
