Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
