i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
