No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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