just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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