1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
