The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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