hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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