So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
