Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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