I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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