I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
