I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
