I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Please don't give away my fajitas
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize