hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
