We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize