you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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