she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
