guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
