You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
