I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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