It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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