is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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