Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
