I just threw up on my dentist
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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