I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
