So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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