we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
