Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
