honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
