does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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