The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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