I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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