You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
