My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
