this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
