I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize