guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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