no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
