I could make wine with my vomit
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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