he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize