drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
