I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize