i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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