I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
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