About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
